After nearly 81 years together, Connecticut couple recognized as ‘longest married’ in U.S. 

One Fairfield, Conn., couple is receiving an early Valentine's Day gift: recognition as the “longest-married” couple in the United States.

John and Ann Betar have been married since Nov. 25, 1932, and this year will mark their 81st wedding anniversary.

The award does not mean the couple is the longest married in the country; it means they have been together longer than all others nominated in the past year.

John is 101 years old, and Ann is 97. The couple have five children, 14 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

"They are wonderful, generous, compassionate and good-humored," their granddaughter Heather Mitchell told The News. "The way they deal with life's lessons and tragedies with such grace is one of the things that impresses me the most about them."

Heather McLaughlin

 

"It's no big deal being married 80 years when you're in love," says the Betar's daughter Renee.

 

Mitchell will host a special ceremony on Saturday at her home in Fairfield. Several family members, friends, and their church's priest and deacon are expected to attend. Local officials, including Fairfield First Selectman Mike Tetreau and Trumbull Mayor Tim Herbst, who is a family friend, will be present as well.

"Their humility is impressive," said Mitchell. "They don't think they are unique or special. They think 'Everyone in our day got married this young,' and they don't see how special they are as everyone around them does. It adds to their charm."

John Betar reiterated that point and told The News, "It's quite an honor, but I don't know what it's for."

John and Ann met as children, and John would often drive Ann to school. Ann's parents arranged for her to marry someone else, but the couple defied their wishes and eloped.

David Gunn

 

John and Ann Betar have five children, 14 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

 

"They were going against all odds," said Renee Betar, one of the couple's daughters. She describes her mother's decision as difficult, but the right one "when there's no other way but love."

John operated a fruit stand before opening his own grocery store called Betar's Market in Bridgeport, Conn., and Ann stayed home to take care of their five kids.

The couple keep each other young. John and Ann often cook together and keep a moderate diet. They also enjoy reading.

"Grandma is a voracious reader, and grandpa is more of a magazine reader," said Mitchell. "(Grandma) pores through books, biographies and loves to learn about people."

Having a big family doesn't hurt either.

David Gunn

 

John Betar, pictured here with his wife Ann celebrating his landmark 100th birthday in 2011, says, "We just live with contentment and we don’t live beyond our means."

 

"It's fantastic for them to see how much their family has grown," said Judy Metro, another of the Betars' daughters. "They have their health, they have their mind and they're very wise."

The couple says there is no secret to maintaining a long marriage, but they do follow some simple rules.

"We just live with contentment and we don’t live beyond our means," said John Betar. "Just go with the flow."

Worldwide Marriage Encounter, the faith organization that recognized the couple, will give the Betars a plaque, certificates of recognition and personal gifts.

Heather McLaughlin

 

Another of John Betar's simple rules is to "just go with the flow."

 

"Here you have a couple who made a commitment, and they stuck to it," Worldwide Marriage Encounter spokesperson Dick Baumbach told The News.

The lucky couple were selected from among 297 nominations collected between October 2012 to January 2013. "There could be people married longer that do not get nominated," said Baumbach. "But every year, we seem to get more and more recognition and find that people want to nominate their parents, grandparents and best friends."

This is the third year the organization has given out the award. The first couple recognized were from Lordsburg, N.M., and were married for 84 years. Last year's couple were from Las Vegas and were married for 78 years. They received a signed letter of congratulations from the White House, and Baumbach suspects the Betars may receive a similar letter too.

The Betars will also receive a special proclamation from the Connecticut governor's office to mark their long marriage.

“Their decision to marry reinforces the strength of their love and their determination to be together,” said Renee. "It's no big deal being married 80 years when you're in love."