Elisabeth Harper joins the comics

Definitely I have never seen a comical figure in any country anywhere in the world as I have seen in Guyana. Muammar Gaddafi might have been the exception. Berlusconi in Italy made you laugh, but he wasn’t as funny as the types we see in the PPP. Three politicians in the PPP are the most hilarious in the world. You could search every piece of inhabited land on Planet Earth, but you will never find a version of Clement Rohee. How can people with education that support the PPP, whether in Guyana or in the Diaspora, not see the wisdom of advising the PPP to put Rohee in a far corner of Guyana away from the spotlight? There is no other politician; there has been no other politician like Clement Rohee, except for a certain other person, and he too is in the PPP. I would put him as the number one court jester, but let’s deal with Rohee first. Mr. Rohee cannot discourse with the press even for three minutes without coming across as a comic and saying the most laughable things. If there is any aspect of the biology of the PPP that shows how dysfunctional it is, it is the latitude that is given to Rohee. Mr. Rohee makes you laugh each time he opens his mouth, but the number one facetious figure for me in politics is Charles Ramson. I choose to discuss Rohee first, because of the authority he has and his frequent public appearances, but for me the person that can cause you to seriously hurt yourself with uncontrollable laughter is Charles Ramson. Charles Ramson has no counterpart in the world. I would miss the opportunity to see Patrizio Buanne perform “Il Mundo”, any opportunity to have a chat with Barack Obama, any opportunity to question Mikhail Gorbachev, any opportunity to talk with the Pope, if Charles Ramson has a press conference. I wouldn’t miss that meeting for the world. My favourite Ramson comedy piece is his letter in the January 30 edition of the Stabroek News titled, “ÉmigrÉs with solutions for Guyana should form a political party for a chance to implement their political programme.” I am saying no other human on Planet Earth would write such a letter. That letter was laugh galore. Every line contained a flowing list of big words, so big that they were larger than the combined great oceans of the world. Don’t take my word for it, please Google the letter and read it. And please be honest with me – tell me if you didn’t hurt your muscles laughing as if you had Saint Vitus Dance. For me, Charles Ramson is the world’s funniest politician. The list is in the following order Ramson, Rohee and Neil Kumar. As they say in street lingo – Kumar baad fuh days. Rohee said that “goat ain’t bite me” but the goat bit Kumar all over, including his brain. Could there be another sports official anywhere on Planet Earth who defended his government’s restriction of the use of public swimming pools by saying, “people must know they must bathe before they jump in a pool.” Sadly, Elisabeth Harper has become the PPP’s latest clown. Last week I did a column on the unprecedented hilarity she engendered when she released an email that exposed a conspiracy between APNU and the AFC to pay someone five million American dollars to scandalize her over the three million American dollars her son took from a Canadian woman for a mining investment, and for which she stood as guarantor. I went to David Granger and Moses Nagamootoo and told them that I could do the job for one million American dollars thus saving them two million American. Granger and Nagamootoo told me that they don’t have five million Guyanese much less five million American dollars. Asked why Harper did it, the answer they say is obvious – she has joined Ramson, Rohee and Kumar. Elisabeth is at it again. Asked by an interviewer how she can stand to be next to Bharrat Jagdeo after Varshnie Singh’s horrible accusations of domestic abuse against Jagdeo, Harper pulled out the Anil Nandlall guide on the public and private lives of PPP big-wigs (the book is not available at Austin’s but could be purchased at the bookstore on the ground level of the Marriott Hotel) It was Nandlall who said that when Ashni Singh, the Finance Minister, had a car crash with the accusation of alcohol use, Singh was not acting in his official capacity. Harper told her interviewer, the domestic abuse was Jagdeo’s private affair. Now that is laughable. When I was courting my wife, we loved a nice song, “Send in the Clowns,” by Shirley Bassey. Listen it on YouTube.