Margot Van Sluytman's father was working at a Hudson's Bay store in Toronto when he was killed during a robbery in 1978.
He was shot in the back and shoulder as he attempted to stop the robbery.
He was 40 years old.
Thirty years later, Van Sluytman met her father's killer.
She was being honoured with an award from the National Association for Poetry Therapy for books she published and courses she created about using writing to help healing in personal development.
The murderer read about it and sent her an email.
Calgary Eyeopener." data-reactid="17" type="text">"That was a bit of a shocker. It was 30 years after he killed my father and I said to him, 'I believe you're sorry, but I have to meet you,'" Van Sluytman told the Calgary Eyeopener.
Otherwise, she added, "you know that means nothing to me."
Van Sluytman is now the founder of Sawbonna Project for Living Justice. She's in Calgary this week to give two presentations on Thursday, one at St. Mary's University and the other at the Catholic Pastoral Centre.
A lifetime journey
Van Sluytman's journey over the decades was paved with words and writing. She grew up with her family in Guyana, where there was no television, so she relied upon her own creativity for entertainment.
She eventually launched a small press called Palabras â "words" in Spanish.
The connection with her father's killer was launched when his wife made a small donation to Van Sluytman's press, which she wasn't quite sure how to feel about.
"I did find this slightly offensive," she said. "A murderer."
It turned out the man, Glenn Frett, had been released after spending 14 years in prison. He had attended an event that brought victims and perpetrators together, which inspired him to have his wife reach out to Van Sluytman.
After exchanging a number of emails, Van Sluytman and her father's killer met three months later. They exchanged hugs and tears.
Years to heal
Van Sluytman took years to recover from her father's death. She did not complete her undergraduate degree until she was 38. She completed a master's degree at the age of 50 with a thesis project called Sawbonna: Justice as a Lived Experience. Sawbonna is a Zulu greeting that means "I see you," according to an article about Van Sluytman on the University of Athabasca website)
Van Sluytman wrote about her own personal experience meeting with her father's killer, and reflected on the lessons she learned from it and how those lessons might be applied elsewhere in the justice system.
"Sawbonna means I see you. I see our shared humanity. I don't have to like you," she said. "For me, forgiveness is a loaded word.
"However, we are in shared humanity and to understand that nobody should be harmed and no one should be disrespected is profoundly important."
Important for reconciliation
Van Sluytman has taken her passion for the healing powers of words around the world. She met Desmond Tutu in South Africa. She has visited prisons in Thunder Bay and all across British Columbia, where she teaches healing through writing.
Going back to when she first met her father's killer, Van Sluytman had received an award for a book she wrote called, Dance With Your Healing: Tears Let me Begin to Speak: Poetry and Journal for Your Healing Words.
"When I received that award," she said, "I felt my dad's bullets in me."
When her father died, she was 16. Her mother was 36. Van Sluytman remembers what her mother said about the event that changed their lives.
"I forgive them so I can live."
