Dear Sir

Re: Nuclear Power Plant in Guyana

I have turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed several alternative schemes, I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts. I have been assured by a very important person of my acquaintance who sells Puja items in a store based in Florida (Fip), that a nuclear power plant can be a very profitable business indeed.

I do therefore humbly offer it for public consideration, that a public-private partnership be the best method to fund a nuclear power plant. The government may, at the taxpayers’ expense, pump in as many billions of dollars as is needed to construct the nuclear power plant; thereafter a publicly-listed (Berbice Bridge Company Inc or Shite Global Inc?) company may be set up to run the nuclear power plant, leasing space in the nuclear power plant for a nominal fee from the government. This space may be used to construct a lavish casino to guarantee profits, which may be easily explained as an essential measure to increase our GDP growth and create a great many jobs, during this period of economic uncertainty. Of course increased security will be needed of which Roshan K the soup drinker can provided these services by undercutting the competition, underpaying his employees and getting a sole sourced contract from his buddy pal Bharat.

It is my intention that the large amount of warm, tepid water used for cooling the nuclear power plant not be put to waste. A species of fish (Hassar?) tolerant of warm water may be grown in the nuclear power plant for food.

I reckon that it will be beneficial for this company of ours, to partner with a business selling iodine tablets, radiation dosimeters and other nuclear protection paraphernalia – lets say the New Guyana Pharmaceutical Corporation (Ramroop’s & Jagdeo Empire). In the unlikely event of a nuclear leak, there will be ample income opportunities for our partners. This can potentially be a win-win situation since we can sit in the boardrooms of both companies.

Lastly, a significant stock of cable ties can be ordered to function as key maintenance equipment. In the event that a build-up of highly-pressurised steam occurs, I would not recommend venting such steam due to “safety reasons”, as the steam is liable to cause damage, just as smashing a fire extinguisher against a mini bus window would cause it to shatter to bits. A better remedy would be to use cable ties to secure the reactor vessel as well as the reactor building. Should there be a loss of the reactor, we can place six naked politicians each from the PPP and the AFC in the nuclear core, they can then proceed to rub their collective battys together to generate a nuclear reaction, similar to the hot air they generate in Parliament.

The public may be assured that the highest standards of safety will be upheld in the daily operations of the plant.

Should I have the honor of being appointed as the CEO of the nuclear power company, I will be taking a huge pay cut from my previous job and suffer tremendous sacrifices. I profess that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, wink wink.

Future CEO

F. Katahar.