The seven deadly sins

Satiricus knew that you couldn’t stop a good thing – just like you couldn’t keep a good man down. “Look at Minister of Securing Security, Rum Jhaat,” Satiricus thought, “the fella was doing so well at reducing crime, Pressie had even made him “President of Vice”! Some people called the position “Vice President” but Satiricus knew better.
How could you stop crime if you couldn’t control “vice”?? “Hadn’t we learnt in Sunday School that “vice” was “wicked behaviour” -like the seven deadly sins: greed, envy, gluttony, sloth, wrath, lust and pride? “Stop the sins and you stop crime.” said Satiricus firmly.
But the Jhaat was a firm believer that you had to do something, you had to experience it. The Jhaat had started out with the first one “greed” – and told the nation that this was the root of all crimes. The Jhaat knew what he was talking about. It was greed that had him led to carry news to THE Embassy. The money was just too good to pass up, even if it meant betraying people who had helped him all his life. And it wasn’t like he was taking “thirty pieces of silver” like that other fella. The Jhaat demanded thirty-one. So arum Jhaat knew how to attack greed.
“Envy” was easy. When he was in the PPEE party, he had worshipped at the feet of the Jagons and here was this kid Jagdesh who came in just like that and won over their affections. Never mind he worked harder than anybody. If the Jhaat wasn’t dark skinned he woulda been green with envy.
Gluttony? Didn’t that KFC man from Essequibo testify how every time Rum Jhaat went to keep meetings, he had to have a Kahari of duck curry and large Grey Goose just for the “President of Vice”?
Sloth was easy for the Jhaat. He was naturally slow and as a boy even his mother called him “Kor-hee”. Every reporter knew about the “wrath” of Rum Jhaat, since “haul yuh ass!”‘was a term of endearment for him. Lust also came easy – as his eyes cast in every direction when any nubile young lady was around.
But “pride”‘…”false pride” was the Jhaat’s speciality. He always felt that because he was a lawyer, he was better than the other guys in the PPEE. And that was why HE had to be the leader. Or else!!
“So,” concluded Satiricus, “who was better qualified to be President of Vice and take care of our Security?”
“Who de man?? De Jhaat is de vice man!!”‘ chanted Satiricus.