Gilly, I think you're the kind of fella who has life-time friendship. What is life without friendship?

* It takes a lot of maturity to remain on friendly terms with an ex, so I'll praise my friend gilbakka for his maturity.

* Having said that, It is my opinion that if two past lovers can remain friends, then it's either one of two things: They were never in love or they still are.

* Personally, I am totally against staying in touch or remaining friends with previous lovers.

* When my wife and I got married, I decided that was the woman I would focus all my love and affection and attention on.

* When you start paying attention to other women, that includes exes, even in a non sexual way, it takes away from the attention you ought to be showering on your wife.

* I don't believe in condemning or castigating exes. There is an old saying:

No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want.

BOTTOM LINE:

* When you have a deep, profound, meaningful and loving relationship with your wife, there is zero room for exes or other women. On the other hand if your relationship with your wife is superficial, you'll be apt shower attention on other women.

* What says you Mr. Gilbakka ?

Rev

Gilbakka is a fish and most girls/women back then weren't interested in fish.

Are you saying they wanted real meat? No sushi heh?

Respectfully disagree, master.

When you marry someone, you do not live in a cocoon, giving up relatives and friends and acquaintances. You do not stay out of touch with them. A few moments of attention to them will not rob your marriage. In my book, an EX-turned-friend is just another human being like all my relatives and friends. I will not discriminate.

I must say I appreciate Miraver's understanding. True, most of my friendships have lasted 30-45 years and running.

Gilbakka:

* The Rev never said anything about giving up friends and family and paying all my attention to my wife. I am extremely close to the 7 members of my inner circle---I am a better person for having those 7 people in my life.

* Since you're talking about friends, lemme say this, in life, as you grow older you realize it is less important to have lots of friends and more important to have real, genuine friends. My wife is my best friend, and in life if you can have just one genuine, authentic friend, that is enough.

* Now gilbakka, you said "when you marry you don't live in a cocoon."

* The fact is gilbakka you admitted on this forum that you have cheated on your wife.

* The Rev has never cheated on his wife and to avoid temptations I have chosen not to be in touch with exes or to be friends with other women.

* I am not saying that you cheating on your wife makes you a bad person gilbakka, but please don't lecture anyone that showing attention to other women won't rob your marriage---you're the one who cheated.

* Gilbakka The above post may be a tad harsh---but mature folks can have frank discussion among themselves.

Rev

Rev

By no means, Rev. Not harsh. EX-s were not involved. Those were one-night stands. I say this not to brag but to clear up a point. In my book, a person's capacity for love is endless.

I love my wife. I will not speak for her on this issue publicly. But I can say this. I'm not possessive and she is not possessive. Strange men have embraced, hugged and kissed her in the streets in my presence. After being introduced to them as her "friend", I never asked questions for details. I never pouted or frowned when we get home. She has her circles and I have mine. No questions asked. Love accepts without questions.

Now, let's get back to Gilbakka; when I got my stroke 2+ years ago I wanted only my close relatives to know. I took months before informing friends one by one. I informed GNI seven months after. But you know what? In this Internet age, word flies far and wide and fast. Word reached some EX-s, now married women with big children. It didn't harm their marriage to send me get-well wishes and my wife was not offended because I shared the messages with her.

To each his own, Rev. Every person loves differently.

Gilbakka:

* That's a nice post! This is how mature people should communicate with each other. Respect bro!

* By the way, you nailed it:

* TO EACH HIS OWN.

* If you ask a million people about love and what it means to them you'll get a million different responses. That's what makes us humans such intriguing people. We all have our own unique peculiarities.

* Oh! Here is the Rev's take on love:---Sweet and simple:

Rev

Look the bottom line is if women dont listen there will always be problems.:

Nehru:

* Who are you trying to fool with all your bluster and bravado. Be honest! Every chance you get you say this to the wife:

Rev

I do not have a relationship with any of my ex's but we do still keep in touch on certain issues. No sense hating, I have no special feelings for anyone from my past, even though we can't live together,we are still human beings when I last checked.

Gyal, leh de old bai rub he foot wid methylated spirit nah.

Me no have no time with relationships now.

Me leg ah itch.

Yuh got any Canadian Healing Oil?

Memories never die, darling. As long as my brain is in working order I shall always remember all my girlfriends. May God bless them all. They gave me happiness, though temporary, and I feel blessed to have been the recipient.

When yuh goin to Guyana? Nah forget to check out dem barahar.

Gyal, nah baddah me. Yuh nah know heartaches go with the territory?

Is part of the whole package called LOVE.

Good night, Chameli.