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FM
Former Member

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.

Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.

If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault, says the woman.

But I haven't even touched you, says the Game Warden.

That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.

Have a nice day ma'am, and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck.

Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Ann Widdecombe. That evening, the man brought Ann to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Ann and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Ann batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said, 'could you take the dog for a walk?'

ball

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