To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'.

2. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

3. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

4. Sing Along At The Opera.

5. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

6. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

7. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

8. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.It's Called...THERAPY
Enjoy The Ride, Life is Short!!

5. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

Knew some one who used to tell you way in advance he doesn't know if he will be sick. The he would call the day before and says he is sick.

i have a coworker who knew he was going to call in sick the next day (Friday). So before he left instead of saying see you tomorrow. He said have a nice weekend. Next day I come, he was off sick. Sucker didn't realise he gave way himself without realizing.

As soon as he said have a wonderful weekend, I told my other coworkers watch tomorrow he is calling in sick and ditto.

...

one day I was wearing a red bindi/tika and my son lunge at me and knock me over and yelled "sniper!!"

then he said "you like that, eh?"