Did I miss something? Why are you impersonating Ray?

good night all

Argghhhh!!! I can't sleep!!!

If you were close by I woulda stop in with some jojoba massage oil.

LOL…yes some massage oil might help. I have to remember to pick some up on the way home today since you are so far away!

LOL

I can help

You thief me oil!!

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullsh*tted a bit, then she asked if I 'd ever had a mother and daughter threesome?

I said no. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I went back to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mom you still awake?</h6>

So how did it go, Stud Muffinless Chiefsta?

LOL...hey Chief! Long time...how are you?

BF,

Long time indeed, how are you?

Give me a holler same digits, nine one seven five five three six eight three six.  

I hear you does sleep good good.

I will. Are you in the same place?

Yep!!

Gi we the address to nuh man.

>A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' And out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die! She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over, and that it is just not appropriate...

The grandmother says, 'Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.’</h6>

A chicken farmer went to a local bar. Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!
What a coincidence the farmer says. This is a special day for me.. I am celebrating
This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating! says the woman.
What a coincidence! says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, What are you celebrating?
My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!
What a coincidence, says the man. I am a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.
That is great! says the woman. How did your chickens become fertile?
I used a different cock, he replied.
The woman smiled and said, What a coincidence.

lol

BF is whey you deh gal?

LOL...me deh heh bai!! Just trying to get some work done and stay cool!

Polish man moved to Guyana and married an Guyanese girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on ! shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'.

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, ' If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, ' Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. ' Who are you? '
' I am your guardian angel, ' the voice answered.
'Oh, yeah? ' the man asked 'And where the hell were you when I got married?