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The Agony of Aging

On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended,I stopped in to visit my  
aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to
 
turn your clock back."
 
 
 

  Pregnant Prostitute 

 Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"  

"For f.... sakes,   if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one  
 made you fart?"
 

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