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ITβS A BOY THING
Data suggest that couples who have sons are more likely to stay together than those that donβt. Emily Bobrow looks into why this might be
Part of the appeal of having a child of the same sex as oneself is what Pharaon calls the βmini-me phenomenonβ: parents hope to create someone who is both similar to and better than themselves. By granting their children opportunities that they themselves lacked, and by behaving as the parents they always wanted, many seek to remove the same obstacles they believe were set on their own paths as they were growing up. βA lot of parents will see themselves through their child. They think, βHere is where I can get it rightβ,β Pharaon says.
Fathers also like to see themselves as βthe fun dad who takes their kids places,β says Grover. Mothers often get stuck with the lionβs share of routine child care β all the cleaning and feeding and whatnot β whereas fathers tend to swoop in for more recreational experiences. So it makes sense that the activities they are most eager to share are the ones they enjoy themselves. Nick, a journalist in his early 50s with two sons, aged 22 and 14, adds that men in general tend to like βbonding over a third objectβ, such as technology or sports, which can seem easier to do with a boy. βMen are much more gendered in their behaviour, and in their expectations of the behaviour of their kids, than women are,β says Michael Lamb, a professor of psychology at the University of Cambridge whose research investigates parent-child relationships. βFathers tend to be more involved and engaged with sons than with daughters, and this distinction only gets more marked over time.β