Just outside our office there is a ramp used for the handicapped and every day without failure, some creep would park in front of the ramp and block it making it impossible for the clients to move around.
I made up my own ticket (printed on yellow sheets) and I place in on the window of those who have shit for brains. Feel free to copy and use. 
PARKING VIOLATION
This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two.
Because of your Bull-headed, Inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat and a safari of pygmies from the African interior.
The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else other than yourself.
Besides, I don’t like domineering, egotistical or simple minded drivers and you probably fit into one of these categories.
I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure on the expressway at about 4:30pm.
