VB... Hope I'm not being out of place.. I'm hoping to run something by someone in a position as yours. Thanks.

Hi Anta.....yes....Khalifah is the older of my two grandsons.

go ahead.....'run i' and I will see if i can catch up!!

unfortunately I will be away for the next week.....but will be back on the 23rd.....if your 'something' can wait till then.

btw....you are not being out of place at all.

Thanks. Here's my question. Assuming the child's father is your son-in-law and mother your daughter. How would you feel and react if the father insisted that he should have the privelege of taking his son to the movies for the first time? BTW, perhaps we can generalize and apply this to anything else in the child's life. As a grandparent do you believe you're entitled to have a large input in decisions concerning the child? Assuming of course his father is a normal responsible person and caring father, and there's no need to assume he'd do anything to harm the child.

hello Ms VB... you don't have to answer but just in case you forgot.

quote:

Originally posted by antabanta:
Thanks. Here's my question. Assuming the child's father is your son-in-law and mother your daughter. How would you feel and react if the father insisted that he should have the privelege of taking his son to the movies for the first time? BTW, perhaps we can generalize and apply this to anything else in the child's life. As a grandparent do you believe you're entitled to have a large input in decisions concerning the child? Assuming of course his father is a normal responsible person and caring father, and there's no need to assume he'd do anything to harm the child.

(My opinion)Grandparents already had their day,it's now the parents to do their thing,unless as you mentioned some unstable parent,then it's time to have the Grandparents or other family member take over

Parents just not supposed to be too busy for their kids and anyone who takes their kid to McDonald's want a good lash pon their behind.

did i sound domineering/interfering when i said that i want to be the one to take my grandson to the movie for first time?

my role as a nanee is not in any way shape or form to usurp the role that my daughter and my son-in-law have as parents in their children's lives.

what our (nana and nanee) aim is.....to enrich our grands lives as much as we can as grandparents!! full stop!!

if either parent give any indication that they would prefer to do it.....i would step aside....without any hard feelings.

yes....i had my 'day in the sun' already with my kids and with no parents or in-laws nearby i HAD to do it all on my own. quite often i used to want so much for grandparents nearby who could be part of my kids life. now that my grands have us close by even my daughter has realized how much she and her brother missed by not having their grands to do 'stuff' with.

fortunately for us....my daughter and husband wants us to very involved in their children's lives and i hope that we never overstep those 'bounds'.

we love them unconditionally
we spoil them as grandparents should....but within limits.
they have always come over for sleep overs....and now the older one begs his parents to come to our house.
as they grow older, i hope and pray that they know that they have two other people that they can trust implictly and come to if they ever need to.

taking him to the movies is no big deal.....but if i am ever barred from their lives.....BIG DEAL!!!

but i know that will never ever happen.

i hope that i have answered your question Anta.

Thank you very much. You answered my questions beautifully. I thought my way of seeing things was wrong but apparently not.
My questions were for insight rather than criticism. I have this friend whose MIL seems to think she can be a better father than him, and has every right to try. I was wondering if that was a universal feeling amongst nanees.

Totally agree with Cain and VB couldn't have said it better!

Cham, I heard their coffee is the same as Tim Horton's. I just don't tend to do the fast foods as much as I did in the past.

Yes you can lash da man,

quote:

Originally posted by antabanta:
Thanks. Here's my question. Assuming the child's father is your son-in-law and mother your daughter. How would you feel and react if the father insisted that he should have the privelege of taking his son to the movies for the first time? BTW, perhaps we can generalize and apply this to anything else in the child's life. As a grandparent do you believe you're entitled to have a large input in decisions concerning the child? Assuming of course his father is a normal responsible person and caring father, and there's no need to assume he'd do anything to harm the child.

As a grandparent I will like to say this.

My first grand daughter turned one two days ago and so far we have allowed the parents to do their thing. We do not meddle neither do we tell them what to do with their baby.. It is only fair that my son and daughter in law enjoy the pleasures of their first born without grand parents getting in the middle.

Currently the three of them are en route to Toronto from NY and Montreal, enjoying a mini vacation by car. I heard the other grandmother mentioning about its too much for a baby to drive so far distances , me and wifey looked at each other and smiled for we did the same to our children when they were at that age.


Just last night me and wifey was discussing some of the nonsense that is uttered by some grandparents. Example they love their grandchild more than thier own children, etc, etc.

quote:

Originally posted by chameli:
on the matter of grandchildren and grandparents...

dunno how I will be as a grandparent but I hope and pray that they will want our involvement...

There is involvement and there is plain meddling, I am pretty sure they are talking about meddling and not involvement.

As Chief give an eg up there..if the other mother in law voiced her opinion to them thats concern not meddling...meddling would be if she took it a step farther and called the couple up and demand they don't do that.
I have to admit even I was saying its a baby..hell I can't stay in a car for more than 3 hours these days and I ain't no baby rass

Cher,
I wouldn't mind driving you for more than 3 hrs.

....AND thanks for reminding me. Let me go call me DIL and find out how omoolumu is making out from Montreal to Toronto.

quote:

Originally posted by chameli:

quote:

Originally posted by Chief:
[]Let me go call me DIL and find out how omoolumu is making out[].

@ omolumoo

Just heard from them, 150 miles to go and Umoo is doing good.....better than Cher

quote:

Originally posted by Chief:
Just heard from them, 150 miles to go and Umoo is doing good.....better than Cher

That I would let slide..because its a baby...other wise I cuss yo rass from here all the way to Montreal and then Toronto then back to NY