A new phenomenon called
E-MOONING
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Have the best day ever and a good laugh.
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
Ear Infection
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there and
you have to answer in front of others what is wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'you shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice... 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter...
Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose.
CROW DEATHS Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
By analysing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
Absolutely amazing!
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Two policemen call the station on the radio.
"Hello. Is that you Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain
so that they can see their own doctor.
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Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of
humus and Taramasalata.
It's a double dip recession.
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A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are
busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
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63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed..
The police are blaming AL IKEA .
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Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"Blow that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year".
Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."
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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak.
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I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
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Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.
I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.
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Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt .
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.......
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Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots......
Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.
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Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...... One's in a korma....... The other's got a dodgy tikka!
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Sailing results are in: USA took gold, GB took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth .
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A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, blow the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
A new phenomenon called
E-MOONING
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you and TI just waste people's time. One of these days I am going to get up off my rock and whap, wattacks and crack as it hit you or him right on the head!!!!....I don't see you have any of your battie emoticon for mad people getting vengence for being annoyed!
we will have to come up wid one
